My thought yesterday was that we all are making the journey of life like settlers crossing the nation with a wagon train filled with what we think we need — friends, family, relatives, past, present, future, memories, angers, pains, scars, physical stuff, etc. And at every step of the journey — about every 20 minutes — we come into a situation which we are threatened by and so we pull our wagons into a circle until we are secure that the coast is clear and the way is safe and then we push onward.
We can stay with our wagons in a circle for days, weeks, months, years and even decades. And as we continue along the journey — which we are not too certain is really taking us anyplace we want to go, but which unfortunately we realize that, for better or worse, westward ho we must go — we come to see that this thing and that thing and this person and that memory are actually slowing us down and at times are actually getting in the way of our progress. Or we realize we simply don't need this, that or the other since carrying this particular item is simply ridiculous because where we are going it will have no real use, place or function. And as we venture onward we also collect things on our way — stuff, thoughts and people — which we can often hang onto too long.
And meanwhile what Life is really asking us is to pick up a canteen of water and walk out into the wilderness leaving our wagons behind and simply trusting it to provide for us. Not that this is going to ensure a safe or easy journey — it isn't. But in the end, it is the simpler and quicker journey to where we are going. We think the other way with all our wagons filled to capacity is the simple and easy way — because it appears safer and more secure. But it isn't.
And this is because we are putting all our confidence not in ourselves, but in things, people and experiences, acts and facts that are outside of ourselves. And that can not be a part of becoming an empowered energetic being. It's incongruous to it. If our journey is to become a more powerful, cleaner burning, energetic being which is true to our self and acts congruously from a stance of head, heart and actions — then we have to put our faith in ourselves and become able to trust Life and ourselves that no matter what the situation entails we will be able to meet it head on and thrive and flourish.
That is a hard level of trust and belief to have in an energy — even if the energy is our own life force. Thus we sugar coat it and put up belief systems that have reward systems as their paradigm and hope it all works out for us. The "I believe to a certain point — until my 'but' begins." Hence we place limitations on the energy that created the entire Amazonian rain forest which provides the planet with a majority of its oxygen. And we end up believing that it (Life) can help us at the small levels (parking spaces) and some of the big levels (illnesses) — when they seem truly overwhelming — but not at the mundane in between levels.
So we say, "Yes! A parking space! See Life didn't want me to be late for brunch!" But then, "I have to worry about finances (or other 'big issues'), because Life is hardly going to pay my bills!"
Now why would Life care about our parking lots and not the the major things that effect the overall arc of our lives? That makes no sense. And by buying into this limited view of how much Life is able to help us, we limit Life's impact on our lives by having a miniscule amount of trust in it and then wonder why we feel so alone. Interesting thought.