Letting Go Of control…

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. ~ Mark Twain

It's been hitting me, as I re-listen to some Caroline Myss tapes, about the great value in setting aside expectations and simply allowing creative flow to take me into its current. This actually fits into the book I am currently reading (see below) and just happens to be a wonderful bit of synchronicity at this moment in my life. So here are a few thoughts, take them for what they are worth…

The greatest block to my own intuitive living, I've found, is my ego. That part of myself that wants to write "ME!" all over everything I do, say, see, hear, and experience. The ego can be a great thing, however there is a point where it can become a detriment to one's growth. That is because the ego places such a significant aspect of one's identity into a goal, and focuses so strongly on a specific outcome — as a reflection of its own worth, value, and importance — that it ignores those opportunities which surface into one's path that do not "fit" with the very specific, target goal.

For example, perhaps I want to play the piano at a jazz club. And everything I do focuses on getting me up on that jazz club stage. Now lets say a friend invites me to a party where jazz club owners are going to be attending. I go expecting that I will meet, woo, and be signed to play for a night — thus reaching my goal of playing the piano at a jazz club. But lets say that while I am at the party, the only people who speak to me are classical piano producers. Now I have a choice. I can ignore the opportunities opening themselves up to me, focus on what I am not getting, and even more strongly pursue my goal of speaking only to jazz club producers. Or I can embrace and appreciate the possibilities in front of me and explore this new direction further. In embracing that which is being handed to me, I may find a whole new aspect to my talent. I may discover another dimension to piano playing gigs. And I may discover that classical piano producers recommend talent on a regular basis to jazz club owners. Or, I may find out that the opportunity really doesn't go anywhere. Alternately, I may discover that I need to be more assertive in creating my own reality, because I was expecting jazz club producers to come and talk with me, when in actuality, I need to go talk to them. Now here is where the wonderful aspect of coaching comes in…

As a coach, I would want to explore if I had done everything I could possibly do to create my goal. Did I go talk with the jazz club owners? Did I give it my all? Did I hold back when creating conversation with them? If I could say "Yes, I did everything I could think of and still nothing came of it." then I would suggest stepping back and looking at my duality of thinking. As in: jazz club good, classical piano gig bad. And explore the idea of allowing things to manifest and unfold in their own time — like a flower blooming at it's own rate. Some plants bloom in early spring, others bloom in late summer. One isn't necessarily better than the other, they just both age differently. It's not personal in any respect. It simply is.

So my challenge is to start looking at your "stuck" spots and try and see where you might be ignoring (what I call,) "tributary opportunities." Those possibilities that might not take you directly to your exact goal, but which may help you discover new aspects of yourself and of life. And if you can find one or two of those spots, then start mentally embracing them. Notice how you internally judge these potentials. And then, without judgment, start exploring this creative flow (which you might be viewing as "creative hindrance"!); simply to investigate where the flow may lead. Like paddling off the main river into a tributary –you just may discover a lovely place to rest, play, and swim for a bit.

© Rich See 2010